The Daly Gem
Meg Daly is a Life and Career Coach who works with individuals on achieving results and becoming the best version of themselves. You can learn more about her services at www.coachmegdaly.com.
What comes to mind when you hear the words self-care?
Whatever it looks like beneath, is probably a desire to hit the reset button for your head, heart and body.
When I think about "extreme self-care," I think about incorporating my friend Jen's acronym of MISS into each day because it's SIMPLE!
You could call these the BIG FOUR as it relates to "EXTREME SELF-CARE" because if all four are plugging along pretty good, then YOU are feeling much more than pretty good!
If you made the decision to really take care of you, how would you move your body each day? What would you put in your body? How would you manage stressful situations? How much sleep would you get?
Most importantly, how would taking care of YOU affect your work, your relationships, and your experiences each day?
Something to consider:
Post "MISS" on your fridge, computer, or bathroom mirror as a reminder that feeling good through self-care doesn't have to be an event or vacation or class... but instead, a way of being that sifts into each moment of our day.
Have a great weekend!
If you're like me, you listen to inspiring pod casts (a lot!), read books, and talk with others about creating more joy and success in our lives. There is something so cozy and calm about settling in for a long drive or a morning walk listening to stories, experiences, and lessons all focused on this idea of feeling good in our lives. It's the inspiration that sparks our imagination for new possibilities.
Let us not forget, however, while the listening, talking, planning, and preparation is all part of the process, without ACTION, everything fizzles away.
1. We don't have the energy to move forward, to do the things we know we must do to get what we want. Maybe it's because we are stuck in the past, worried about the future, in a vicious cycle of habits that don't work well for us, or simply because we are full of fear.
2. Sometimes we make life complicated. We think we have to chase and grab and fight really hard for what we want. In the process, we drain our energy and what is left is this sort of emptiness.
3. We suffer from the "perfection complex"...so we are hard on ourselves AND others...and it's exhausting.
Sometimes, we simply need a refresh.
A period of time to step back, evaluate the current state of affairs, imagine something new, and build the energy to move towards what we want with ease.
The fun part about the process is when we tap into our imagination and how we want to feel, that is where the magic can begin. When we engage these feelings ahead of time, on a regular basis, not only is the journey to our goal/desire a lot more fun, we probably arrive at our desired destination a wee bit quicker.
Something to ponder...."What do I need to do in order to move forward?"
P.S. I work with individuals and companies on hitting that reset button. If you need support in this area, reach out to me for a complimentary chat regarding my "Life Refresh" program.
Have a great weekend!
We all experience moments of elation within our lives. A child is born, we get the promotion, the doctor calls with good news about a recent test, or perhaps we wake up to a new way of thinking that allows us to forgive and move on. We all experience moments of elation within our lives. A child is born, we get the promotion, the doctor calls with good news about a recent test, or perhaps we wake up to a new way of thinking that allows us to forgive and move on.
I call these "High Energy Highlights."
It's during these times we have this sort of reverence for life where in that moment nothing can trigger us, bring us down, or keep us up at night ruminating over the same things... over, and over, and over. Our mindset only contains this adoration for life, a knowing of the fragility of it, and a realization of what is truly important.
The thought of reverting back to familiar ways of thinking and being in these moments is utterly foreign.... yet for some of us, inevitably it happens.
Maybe it's days, weeks, or months that pass by, but eventually we find ourselves falling into worn out ways of thinking and behaving:
During those sacred moments of elation where we are connected to our best selves...why do we revert?
My guess is we go back to what is familiar and as a result of being familiar...it's easy.
But though it may be easier... we are cheating our ourselves.
When we are able to fully take responsibility for our lives, we are then able to cultivate these good feelings on a more regular basis.
How cool would it be to release the need to control? Look inward rather than outward? Experience high energy highlights more often?
It's simple. We just have to remember.
"Stay right there" with those thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
A few years ago during one of my Circle Workshops, a client had the novel idea of calling an exercise we worked with to remove draining habits, "Rockin' Rituals." I love that.
I love it because the rituals we put in place during the day have a profound effect on how we view our day and really how we ultimately experience life. One of my favorite rituals is based off of Louise Hay's mirror work.
For those of you who've been to my home, you know what the "magic feel good mirror" is. I call it magic because no matter who looks at themselves in it, male or female, they say, "Hey this mirror is great! I look 10 pounds thinner!"
Isn't interesting how our days are "set" by how we perceive ourselves? What if we intentionally adjusted the view to our advantage? Mirror work does just that.
1. First, look in the mirror. Yes, at first you may feel a bit silly but give it a try. When you are looking at yourself, let down any barriers and really look deep into your eyes. You know how someone looks eye to eye with you, making you feel like you are the only person that matters at that moment? Be that person to yourself.
2. After about 30 seconds of silence, say out loud to yourself:
3. I give and receive unconditional love today.
4. I experience __________ today. (insert word that embodies what you need. It might be peace, joy, success, balance, etc.)
5. I am full of wisdom today.
Give it a whirl. You can mix up the mantras or words... what matters is that you connect... to you!
We have an infinite amount of power to create the lives we want... and it starts today.
Grace & Success,
Do you ever get a pit in your stomach and realize the root of the cause of the pain is caring about:
Why do we care so darn much and drive ourselves crazy just because people don't react the RIGHT WAY... or in other words, like WE would react?
I know I do!
Imagine for a moment how it would feel to be 100% you. Authentically you with no apologies. I mean the real deal.
What words would come to mind? Scary? Free? Can't even imagine?
I believe when we get to a place where we're able to be totally cool with who we are, we are then able to be vulnerable, speak our truth, and be okay with reactions from others that don't feel too hot.
It's like giving someone a gift. When they don't write a thank you, do we fly off they handle? Call everyone and go off on how grateful this person is and dig deep into WHY they are not showing appreciation and giving us what we want? Yes, a thank- you note would be wonderful but it's not going to throw us off the rails.
I have two words that might help... SO WHAT.
Imagine existing in a way that you are only attached to the joy that comes from giving freely and that the recipients reaction is irrelevant to the experience.
I'll give it a try too. :)
Grace & Success,
I completely understand your point of view... but what I was thinking was we should do it this way...
You did a fantastic job on that project... but next time I'd like you to...
Do you sense something "off" with those statements? I didn't until someone pointed it out to me years ago! When we take the time to genuinely compliment someone or agree with a certain point of discussion we can easily negate all that positive mojo with one word... BUT.
It's like working out for an hour, which makes us feel really good... and then downing a box of Krispy Cremes and a Big Gulp. :)
So how do we get our points across in a softer and more effective way?
I completely understand your point of view... how do you think that could mesh with other ideas from the team?
You did a fantastic job on that project... I was thinking going forward let's merge your expertise with trying "XYZ."
It's easy to forget that being on the receiving end of feedback can be a vulnerable spot. Rather than assume the receiver understands we appreciate them, why not pay attention to the words we choose.
Words hold energy. They have the power to build up your teams, families, and friendships... or push them down. So watch the "buts."
All is good. All is well,
I hear this a lot, from the mouths of clients and friends... and at times from my own. We all have parts of ourselves we wish to negate, push down, perfect, or polish up. At times it can get exhausting and downright depressing. So what if we simply stopped trying?
I have interviewed several people over the past month from a variety of backgrounds, careers, and stages in their lives on the "Magical Art of Feeling Good." One theme I've noticed is a deep desire for acceptance, of others situations and most often acceptance of us.
What I've learned from listening to people's stories is that SUCCESS begins to show up when we move from:
▪ Self-criticism to Self-love
▪ Guilt to Forgiveness
▪ Isolation to Connection
▪ Comparison to STEPPING INTO OUR OWN LIVES
When we arrive at this place of ACCEPTANCE, we begin to lighten up on others and ourselves. When this happens, the parts of ourselves we love begin to blossom even more, enveloping those "dark sides" within us.
What are you trying to get rid of?
Try just for today, allowing it to simply be. Rather than fighting that part of yourself, choose to love it. When we wrap our hearts around the painful parts of our lives, and ourselves the pain begins to dissolve away.
All is good. All is well,
Recently a friend shared insights regarding her at times challenging relationship with family members. Her message was profound as it centered around the idea of meeting others exactly where they are within themselves and their lives rather than where we desperately want them to be.
What do I mean by this?
|▪||You have a troubled relationship with your brother.|
|▪||You spend years trying to understand why he is the way he is.|
|▪||You spend countless hours staring at the ceiling playing over and over in your head the things he said and did to you.|
|▪||You regret the good "come backs" you could have really "gotten him" with.|
Do you sense something as you read this?
Does your body feel constricted?
If so, you're probably remembering that feeling of trying to control what cannot be controlled.
It's normal to desire an outcome that is different from the reality of the present situation... the questions is, "when does it become a losing battle?"
So how do we direct our control in ways that serve us?
Look back on your life.
How much precious time and valuable energy have you spent on trying to control others choices, behaviors, actions, and preferences?
Imagine we simply chose to meet others exactly where they were and instead turn all that powerful energy and valuable time towards OUR choices, actions, behaviors, and preferences.
Choosing to meet people where they are is a gift to them but also to ourselves. It's being okay with not agreeing with them but honoring them as their own person.
Who in your life are you trying to pull, push, prod or turn around? Is there anyone who is behind a door wanting to be left alone and you keep knocking?
What would it feel like to simply stop?
Would love to hear from you on this topic.
All is good,
I work with people from a variety of professions and backgrounds, yet there is one foundational question I begin with during our time together. It's one of those simple questions that you think would be so easy to answer yet it has the power to stop people in their tracks.
What Makes Your Heart Sing?
Think about that for a second. It's the one thing that makes you FEEL good. It's always there lingering beneath the surface of everyday responsibilities and schedules and life. It could even be your purpose in this lifetime. So often I hear people say, "What do I want?" "Why am I here?" "Who do I want to BE?"
So I ask them, "If you were asked to give a short talk on ONE thing that really lights you up, what would it be?"
Some answers I've heard:
|▪||Connection at a deep level with loved ones.|
|▪||Hitting my business goal for 2017.|
|▪||Trusting myself... and others.|
|▪||Forgiveness of others and myself....|
|▪||Shining a light on "XYZ" injustice that keeps me up at night.|
|▪||Letting go of the rumination and control.|
|▪||Living in the moment.|
|▪||Feeling good in my body.|
|▪||Waking up Monday morning excited about work.|
|▪||Feeling like I live my life on my terms.|
When we feel stuck, lost, or unsure about our lives it helps to focus our attention in a different direction. When we do, it's like we shift our energy and how we wake up and show up to life changes. (Bonus: We start seeing our goals/wishes/desires come to us more easily too.)
If you are struggling with your answer to my question, don't force it. Just sit with it and pay attention over the coming days to what topics/ideas/experiences perk you up. Soon, you will see a common theme... and make the choice to bring that theme to life more in your experiences.
Happy singing :)
My dog Birdie and I got stuck on our walk this morning in a rainstorm... fortunately for us we were a few minutes from our favorite coffee spot along Lake Michigan. The place is dog friendly... but not inside! So we hung around outside under the awning by the front door waiting for the rain to let up. As people came in and out, some would smile, others would go by a bit annoyed they had to move around Birdie to get in the front door.
One woman in particular walked towards us, using sign language. I eventually understood she was asking to pet the dog. "Of course!" I said and struggled to answer her in sign language...which I don't even know.... so we both laughed!
Shortly after, a new voice behind me suddenly said to the woman petting Birdie,
"Ummmm.... yeah.... can I get through PLEASE?" (can you feel the agitation and annoyance?)
Of course the woman didn't hear her.... which elevated the annoyance even more and "the voice" finally flew by in a fluster.
At first, I was livid. Who did this woman think she was? A few choice words came to mind. I mean really... just chill out!
Until I remembered... "Frantic Frannie."
Who is she? Well, um, she's actually, um, yeah... she's me.
When I get flustered, impatient, or completely anxiety ridden---- I've found using humor by blaming it on Frannie helps defuse my impatient energy at times. (hey, whatever works, right!?)
I created "Frantic Frannie" because I really wasn't attracted to this part of me.
I didn't like the sound of my voice sometimes.
I'm guessing the frantic woman today isn't too crazy about her voice sometimes either.
It got me thinking, how many times have I been "that voice?"
How many times have we become our own version of "Frantic Franks or Frannies" not realizing what's going on in someone else's world and instead choosing to believe their "clueless-ness" is intentional.
It made my heart hurt and stomach sink thinking about this woman enjoying a lovely moment while "Frannie" was fuming and shooting arrows at through her eyes.
We never know what people are dealing with or what kind of day they've had.
Later today I had a choice about the voice I wanted to be... and had "Coffee shop Frannie" to thank for the reminder.
I was in the store grabbing lunch and holding my ONE item when I was completely cut off by a woman as she steered her grocery cart into the "10 items" only line (I am pretty sure she had 20 :)
An older man looked over at me and rolled his eyes which made me feel very, VERY justified in my annoyance at the woman... momentarily.
I suddenly remembered the incident earlier this morning with my Frantic Fannie sister.... and dug deep with a few questions to myself:
|▪||"Maybe she's from out of town and didn't realize that aisle was for quick purchases."|
|▪||"Maybe that hanging plant was for her Mom who just moved into assisted living and it's been a really emotional day and she needs to hurry back."|
|▪||"Maybe her best friend is in the hospital and she's rushing to make dinner for her friend's family."|
It only took a few quick thoughts to move from "Frantic Frannie" to "Compassionate Candy." I think I like Candy better.
|▪||There is power in being in the moment.|
|▪||There is power in giving people the benefit of the doubt.|
|▪||There is power in believing everyone is doing the best they can.|
|▪||There is power in giving one another a break.|
|▪||There is power in getting over ourselves.|
What kind of voice do you want to be?
Meg... and sometimes Frannie :)
If so, what about trying something different? What about focusing on how great it feels to feel really GOOD. In fact, what if our morning mantra was something along the lines of, "I wonder how GOOD today could get?"
How do we go from "stuck" to feeling wonderful, light, luminescent, beautiful, confident, loved, free, elegant, inspired, alive, young, or lit up?
Perhaps it's focusing on what we want... or maybe it's even deeper than that. What are the feelings we feel when we get what we want?
When you get the job... how do you feel?
When you lose the weight... how do you feel?
When you win the lottery... how do you feel? :)
Could it be that tapping into those amazing feelings is not just for when the quota is met or the deal is made or the connection is created? That we can tune into those feelings every day if we choose to?
Hmmm. So in a way, we have the power to rob ourselves from these feelings, holding them in reserve for only moments in our lives.... OR we can pinpoint the feelings that light us up and ride that wave as much as possible!
Right here, right now... how do you want to feel? Come up with 3-5 words that describe how you want to feel in your relationships, your work, your home, your friendships.
Next, say them every day. It's what I called a "Mojo Mantra" and it has power... because words hold energy.
Let's take a "Mojo Moment" to reflect on this.... is wanting to feel the way we want to feel in our heads, hearts, and bodies unrealistic/ridiculous/out of reach?
P.S. Interested in being part of my research on the "Magical Art Of Feeling Good?" I am interviewing people over the next two months. It's a fun experience. Email me for details and/or Click here to book an "interview" via my online calendar
How good could today get?
So often inspiration for these gems come from experiences with clients who teach me so much about life, themselves, and in the process myself!
Not long ago, I had a client communicate she was filled with anxiety about an upcoming annual review at work. In the past, she reacted to "constructive criticism" with feelings of defensiveness, anger, and sensitivity. I asked her to be open to an idea I call the "eggshell meditation".... and her response was pretty much aligned with the title of this gem! Yet even so, she decided to play along and give it a go.
In essence, it's a short meditation on grounding yourself, relaxing, and imagining a soft boundary around your body. One that is "see through" but where you are safe from the sting of words and feedback that tend to wound our egos and spirits.
What's the purpose of the exercise?
It gives you the time and space to process. You can hear the words, but you don't immediately absorb them into the whirlwind of your mind and emotions.
What's the benefit?
For my client, it was the best review she had experienced in years. Not so much what her manager had to say, but the calm EXPERIENCE of receiving the feedback. She felt open, and her manager noticed the change. In fact, there was additional positive feedback after the review about her demeanor, communication, and behavior during the meeting.
|▪||Think back to a time when you had a similar situation and the feelings you felt were down right icky. What about the way you reacted fueled your negative feelings?|
|▪||Now think back to a time where you were able to feel grounded and detached from the opinions of others. How did that feel? Probably pretty good.|
Remember, it's a choice. We can choose to let others decide how we are going to feel OR we can decide. We have immense power in creating our own realities.
P.S. If you'd like my "eggshell" meditation, shoot me an email and I'll be happy to share!
Have a great weekend!
All is good-
Each week the lovely ladies at M Magazine email asking for a new Daly Gem for my blog on their site. Without that push, I tend to resist writing due to the fear of "What else can I write about?" or "Does anyone really care?"
I call this kind of block "Perfection Paralysis." It's when we put off what we really love doing until it's perfect... so we look good... so people like us... and compliment us... and we feel validated. :)
Think about the time and momentum lost on the road toward what we desire when we insist on "perfection before action."
What would happen if:
▪ The dishes could sit in the sink allowing you to get out the door a bit earlier? Maybe you'd enjoy your work commute without the pressure of being rushed?
▪ The work proposal didn't have to be reviewed 100 times before pulling the trigger? Perhaps you'd actually get picked for the project?
▪ Losing that last 10 pounds didn't prevent you from enjoying life? You might meet someone amazing at the party Friday night!
Where in your life are you trying to be perfect? How is that working for you? If not so well, I've got a great mantra for the situation..."Get Over Yourself!"
If everything were perfect... then that would kind of be "it." The contrast of life, the rush of expanding and growing would be in essence over... because you'd be perfect.
So whether it's the resume, book, screenplay, or dating site profile you are stalling because of "XYZ," challenge yourself to check it off your list by:
We are all imperfectly perfect... and that's the beauty of this crazy wild experience called life.
All is good-
We all have wishes, goals, desires, targets, and end games.
The fun part is in the planning and the "AHHH!" of achieving them, right?
So then what? The thrill is gone, new goals are devised, new quotas are established, and the push begins again.
What if, instead, we dug a bit deeper and got a little more joy?
What if we were able to locate, identify, and name the FEELINGS behind reaching that goal, achieving that wish, or bringing that desire to reality?
Vibrant. Successful. Confident. Beautiful. Magical. Grounded. Authentic. Feminine. Masculine. Healthy. Blissful. Confident. Secure. Safe. Peaceful. Happy. Supported. Loved.
You with me?
So what if then, we decided to focus on the feelings behind the goal on a day to day basis? What if we were able to tune in and tap into those "feeling words" when faced with a choice, challenge, or change in our lives?
One thought is we would probably make decisions more aligned with who we are and what we want. The path would become a little straighter, the race track a little shorter.
Try this exercise:
1. Identify three words that describe how you want to feel in your life.
2. Write them down and post them somewhere you'll see them every day.
3. When you are faced with a decision of how to react, what to say yes/no to, what to eat, who to let in or who to let go of... simply tune into those feelings and see which choice lines up with those "feeling words."
Once we decide to "show up" to life in a way that inspires us, a funny thing happens. Those goals, wishes, and desires seem to show up to us as well.
All is well, all is good-
A few years ago I was complaining to a colleague about my frustration with certain people in my life unwilling to commit. I expected a pat on the back from her... a "oh you poor thing," and if I was lucky, an agreement on how it absolutely was "his/her fault" and all about "their issues."
Did she deliver what I wanted? Not so much.
What she had to say was short and at that moment not so great to hear.
Huh??? "Wait a minute! I am totally committed to myself, to others.... this is NOT about me!"
Then, I took a breath and let her words sink in. Not with blame or judgement but more with curiosity. As I stepped outside of my own ego and really looked at myself at that moment in time, I quickly began to see the ways in which I was not committing to me. Once I had that awareness, it was nearly impossible over the coming weeks to not see where I was selling myself short.
It's very enticing to want to look outside ourselves for the reasons we get stuck, feel overwhelmed, or are simply not getting what we want in life.
Are you sick and tired of people:
▪ Taking advantage of you?
Before you shoot off the nasty text or begin venting to friends and family regarding "his/her" actions....STOP.... and choose instead to:
1. Make a list of everything you're frustrated with regarding the situation (I recommend three solid bullet points max.)
That, my friends, is the magic of the mirror!
Why do they feel better? Because a realization is made that we all have the power to create really great relationships and experiences.... that this power comes first from how we show up to ourselves. Once we value, honor, and respect our own minds through kind self-talk... our hearts through self-nurturing... and our bodies through self-care, it's very likely the people and experiences we allow in will match that "feel good energy!"
All is well, all is good-
Have you had moments in your life where things were CRAZY busy but you were having the time of your life? One of my realtor friends commented yesterday on how this time of year is the most frantic times of the year for home selling/buying... but she's having a blast.
It's important during these times to:
1. Stay grounded
How do we stay grounded when there is work to be done, deals to be closed, and to do lists to be checked off? It's all about intention. Whether time blocking, delegating smaller items to a virtual assistant, or remembering to self nurture ourselves (massages, working out, Netflix!) there is power behind intentionally creating our days... not letting our days create us.
2. Be Aware of Self Sabotage!!
This is a biggie. You have been dreaming, embodying, visualizing etc etc etc what you really desire for your life... and then BAM! it's here. Do you celebrate the success and then get to work? Or do you become overwhelmed, hide out and dive into a bag of chips??? Be aware of the power of imagination and the jolt of energy that comes with creating what you imagine! It's your choice whether to create more momentum and move forward or to become paralyzed with that fear of greatness/success/achievement. We want it... but can we handle it? Yes you can... with awareness of your soft spots!
3. Remember What Worked
Reminding ourselves of the CHOICES that led to your present day success is key. Once you are aware of what works for you, you simply rinse and repeat with different experiences in your life. Maybe what worked for you was going to bed early, or working out in the evening rather than morning, or removing something from your diet to elevate your energy, or choosing to say "no" more? Only you know what creates alignment and balance within yourself. YOU are the expert.
So bring on the crazy fun! It's the juice of life so enjoy every drop.
All is well, all is good-
A really great by product of what I do is the ability to clearly see the parallel between my own roadblocks and those of the clients I work with. What I mean by this is when I help individuals work through their own "stuff" like fear, judgement, and procrastination, it sheds a light on my "stuff" as well!
Take for example, the idea of stepping outside that rim of fear that surrounds our safe and familiar and at times "ho hum" type of living. That space where things feel okay but a bit stagnant and there is lack of movement and flow. Something is off, but we can't quite put our finger on it. While this way of existing may feel comfortable, there is something about it that also feels empty and a bit draining.
To step out of that space is clearly scary but something we know we MUST do. Even if we can't articulate WHY, we know it could be a game changer.
Recently, I gathered the courage to "walk the walk" rather than staying in that safe zone of "talking the talk" or as Brene Brown would say, I got "in the arena." It's easy to help others see where their blind spots are... not always so much when it comes to ourselves.
My "opportunity for growth" came in the form of a professional opportunity I've been resisting for quite some time due to fear of rejection, looking ill equipped, or simply out of my element. Fortunately, however, I had that little voice in my head & gut saying "you MUST do this" along with certain individuals I believe are my "earth angels" offering support. The result from that one moment of saying, "I'm In" was beyond my wildest dreams and very quickly created a ripple effect to additional opportunities.
What I can tell you without doubt is that when we make a conscious choice to try something different (even when it scares the heck out of us) by taking 2 steps beyond that rim of fear, the universe/God/energy takes 10 steps towards us. It's almost as though they are saying "Well hello, so glad you finally showed up. We've been waiting for you with so many good things to share!"
So where are you afraid to start walking rather than talking?
One of my friends recently realized her desire for finding love outweighed her fear of stepping outside the "familiar alone zone" and into hiring a matchmaker. Talk about putting yourself out there!
Maybe for you it's exploring other career options, trying stand up comedy at amateur night, or having a difficult conversation with your boss.
Today, mare the choice to gather up the courage to elevate yourself beyond fear and into your purpose and joy!
All is well, all is good-
How often do we wake up thinking about a specific "to do," meeting, or obligation and say....
▪ "Well this is going to suck!!"
▪ "I am getting anxiety over it already"
▪ "Why does this always happen to me?"
Chances are, you are stuck looking at the expansive gap... in other words, the space between where you are and where you really want to be.
So how do you shorten the gap? How do you lighten your energy and begin looking at things in a more positive light?
You step into who you are at your core. Your gifts. The essence of what make you special.
When was the last time you really thought about your gifts and the immense power they have to create connection, success, and joy for yourself and those in your world? Today, write down your top 5 gifts. Next, rather than approaching the work meeting, your schedule, or a touchy conversation with a sense of gloom and doom or with the need to be right... how about choosing to instead simply "be" your gifts? Bring those to the table and see what happens.
p.s. If you are interested digging deeper into your own gifts, I have a powerful Values Tool I use with clients and in my workshops. Email me today for details!
All is good,
As human beings, we tend to put a great deal of pressure on ourselves to perform, be “on,” to please others, and to perfect our lives and schedules. There’s a whole lotta “shoulds”swimming through our minds. These “shoulds” have the power to pull us off the tracks! Sometimes it’s quite awhile before realizing we are actually living our lives based upon rules dictated by others and society.
What would your life be like if you tried, just for one week, to throw out the shoulds and simplify everything based around the question of “how does this feel for me?”
Think about your morning routine for example. You may feel you SHOULD:
▪ mediate for 30 minutes upon waking
▪ workout for an hour before work
▪ prepare a home cooked breakfast for everyone
I’m not saying all the above aren’t healthy and fabulous ideas! My point is make sure it’s YOU who is choosing the activity because it fuels that best part of you.
Maybe meditating is appealing but stresses you out trying to fit it into your morning routine... and as a result you start to judge yourself. That’s basically the opposite of what meditation is meant to do for you! Solution? Choose to make your day a mediation using moments like standing in line at the grocery store or bank to quiet your mind.
Working out before work is a chore? Think about incorporating movement throughout your day by taking the steps, walking on your lunch hour, or hitting the gym on the way home from work to catch a class you’ve been wanting to try?
The key is figuring out what inspires you. We all have enough of the “to do’s” on our list that are inevitable. Why not protect your personal & precious time by choosing what makes your heart sing?
All is well, all is good!
These aspects are part of who you are and when used in healthy ways, can benefit you personally and professionally to create more success, purpose, and connection with others.
Have you noticed as well that sometimes these aspects of yourself, when not kept "in check," have the ability to unground, detach, and pull you away from your center...and as a result bumping you down a notch?
You're experiencing some "highs" or "wins" with work or in your personal life. It's one of those "up" periods in your life when things are "in sync" and aligned. Don't you just live for those moments? Knowing these moments exist is what makes the low points in life bearable!
Inevitably, you receive a phone call or meet for coffee with a loved one or colleague who is experiencing not so great of a period in their life. You might call it a "low energy" chapter. Maybe they're dealing with insecurity, anger, resentment, or competitiveness. As if almost on auto pilot, you sense their feelings, (even before they have verbalized them!) and dive into the work of "making it right" for them. Helping them step out of the space they are in. And how do you do it? By joining in the misery. Maybe it's mirroring what they are feeling with inflated examples of your own insecurity, resentment, etc.
Why does this happen? Probably because you feel what others feel ... and when they feel "off," you want to scoop them out of their funk. The truth is, what ends up happening is you devalue yourself in order to make the other person feel better.
They are uplifted, their energy gets a shot of your magic juice and off they go...leaving you a little lower, a bit drained, and off your "high."
If this sounds familiar, do you see how ineffective, inauthentic, and just silly the whole scenario is?! If your answer is a resounding "YES!" then hallelujah!
Your "YES!" is called "awareness." Many times that's all that is needed to start pivoting towards behaviors and choices that keep you in the groove, Staying in this groove allows you to share your gifts in a healthy way with others without depleting you.
All is well. All is good!
How many times a day are you stuck in your head? Have you found yourself laying in bed staring at the ceiling trying to be "right," trying to figure out why someone did something or said something. Pretty soon it's 3am, your heart is racing, and you head hurts.
My question is, how is this working for you? It really held me back for years.
In order to get out of the "rumination wheel rut" we first must become AWARE of how this is holding us back, make a DECISION to do something different, and most importantly take ACTION.
If trying to always figure things out (aka "overthinking") is keeping you stuck, and you are ready to do something different, all you now need to do is take action through a tool that works for you. Perhaps it's meditation, talk therapy, or creating morning and evening rituals to move you into more of grounded mindset.
Often there is fear with change. Even if our current circumstances are less than desirable, it's scary to step out of that familiar place. When years of a certain behavior, such as rumination, are what we know, it's difficult to step away from that way of thinking/living/being because what's on the other side is unknown.
When we do step outside of that space, however, gifts begin showing up.
My challenge to you today is whatever you are overthinking, whatever you can't let go of, whatever grudge you're holding on to, wherever forgiveness is lacking, choose one tool to act upon and watch how things begin to change!
All is well,
Everything we create was once imagined. Think about that for a second. If it's true that everything we create was once imagined, we have an incredible amount of power within us. Probably more than we realize. You might even call it your super power!
How do you use your imagination? Do you wake in the morning dreading the work meeting? Predicting the worst case scenario? Feeling disheartened about the relationship you're in? Expecting the worst so you won't be disappointed?
I agree with the idea of "expectations are resentments waiting to happen," but only when those expectations are put upon another person and out of our control. On the flip side, I truly believe that when we allow ourselves to dream big, these expectations are not resentments waiting to be happen but instead beautiful gifts and blessings waiting to be opened and witnessed.
When we expect things to work in our favor, that is where our attention goes. When we expect beautiful things to happen, we begin to look for them like a treasure hut. When you state your intention for the day, your intuition and awareness naturally looks for those things, naturally brings them into your awareness
Today the challenge for myself and all of you is to ask ourselves, "how GOOD could today get?" You don't have to believe you have this power within you, but why not look at it as an experiment? You have nothing to lose and only really great things to win.
I wonder how good could today could get?
p.s. I'd love to hear about any synchronicities or cool things that happen today that you feel were set in motion from your super power of imagination!
All is well,
What would happen if for one month we dropped the layers upon layers of the "shoulds" within our schedules and instead replaced them with "non-negotiables" for our minds, hearts, and bodies? A sort of "filtering down" to what really moves us closer to what we desire for ourselves and those close to us?
There is something intoxicating about the idea of simplifying. Magazines, books, online programs, and movements focus on the topic. I'm not sure about you, but the word "simplify" gets me inspired...It's actually my theme for 2017!
There is, however, that crucial point where we bump up against resistance. Simplifying can be hard! Why? Because it forces us to trim away what isn't working to make space for what does work...and giving something up regardless of the positive impact can be scary.
I'm reading a wonderful book at the moment, Present over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living.
The author asks the question, "if someone gave you a completely clear calendar and a bank account as full as you wanted, what would you do?"
Once you have your answer, ask yourself how can you start implementing that vision now. For example:
▪ If your answer was starting a non profit for rescue dogs, you could start volunteering at the local animal shelter.
▪ If it's a vacation around the world but your finances are tight, schedule in a "stay-cation" at home and read books and watch movies on the countries you'd like to visit.
▪ If you would redecorate your entire home, why not paint a bedroom?
The idea is to embody and get into the vibe of what it feels like to have it happening NOW in your life!
P.S. I'd love to hear your answer to the questions above!
P.S.S If you are in the Milwaukee area on February 25th I am hosting a workshop where we dive deeper into magic of "Simplicity!" Click here for details.
All is well,
Sometimes, it's difficult to let go of the need to be "right." Whether it be in our personal lives or career, it's tempting to get the last word in, show others how smart we are, or prove our points until we frankly are exhausted.
Where does this need come from? Is it rooted in the need for perfection or perhaps that familiar fear of failure?
Most of us know the frustration that comes from laying in bed at night staring at the ceiling while we ride what I call the "righteous rumination wheel"... going over and over how we are right and "they" are wrong.... and how we are going to make everyone agree with us!
Wouldn't it be great not to care?
If we were able to get to that place, how would life be different? How would our minds, bodies, and hearts feel? Try holding on to THAT way of being and watch your life experiences change.
Sometimes my "theme for the day" is "Just Let It Be." The next time you hop on that need to be "right," make a conscious decision to simply let go and let it be.
All is well,
Chatting with a client recently frustrated with a loved ones inability to take action, I thought of a friends catchy phrase, "watch my feet, not my mouth." In other words, "watch what I DO rather than what I SAY!"
It's easy to become exasperated and point the finger at a spouse, co worker, friend, or family member whose inaction is causing exasperation... but it's also a great exercise to look within, without judgement, on the ways our mouths are moving but we continue standing still. Let's face it...our feet are the only ones we have control over!
1. Describe The Glue. What is it exactly that is keeping our feet/lives stuck? Fear? If so, of what? Maybe fear of feeling vulnerable or fear of failing. It doesn't matter what it is but what does matter is identifying it. Once you become aware, then it become impossible to ignore it! Does this make sense? Think of the glue as a hidden commitment you've made to yourself that you aren't even aware of. Conscious goals might be to make more money, lose weight, or find love. Hidden commitments on the other hand, might be you crave security thus staying in a dead end job, using extra weight as a shield against people getting close, or subconsciously choosing partners you absolutely know are not right for you long term. This is the step where you dig deep and get honest.
2. Break It Up. Many times we remain stuck because the end goal is exciting but the road to it is overwhelming. We overestimate what we can get done in a short period of time, experience "failure," and thus we give up. Over the weekend I was listening to a Brendon Burchard podcast and I love his idea of 50 minute increments throughout the day assigned to different projects. Whatever your personal or professionals goals may be, lighten up a bit and steady goes it. Your mind can only handle so much "thinking" about your resume, de cluttering your home, or having a difficult conversation with a loved one. Time block throughout the day and once that "block" is over.... get out of your head!
3. Love It Up. This is the most important one of all. When we choose to nurture, support, and love ourselves first and foremost, we would't dream of sabotaging our own dreams. What do you desire for your children, your family, your friends? Now turn that love on yourself.
Accept yourself right now, exactly as you are, from the space you stand. Once you do, the feet magically begin to move.
All is well,
I recently had a conversation with a friend who asked me the question I often ask clients..."What Do You Want?" It's a question, when asked in relation to life as a whole, and can literally stop you in your tracks, cause anxiety or move you to tears. The question, as simple as it is, can be super overwhelming... especially if we tend to live our lives on auto pilot or at times spinning our wheels - both scenarios I have experience with in my own life.
It's a question that's tough to answer at times. It is, however, the starting point for creating the wealth of happiness, love and health as spiritual beings we so crave. Before we start creating vision boards and embodying what we think we desire for our lives, it's key to make sure it's what WE want for ourselves rather than what others or society might feel is best.
When you answer the question, "What do you want?" do you sense yourself filtering it a bit, downplaying it, or hiding behind what you feel you "should" wish for? If so, maybe now is the time to dig deep and peek behind the curtains of your ego and fears and find the answer.
If you are interested in hearing about what my answer was, shoot me an email with YOUR answer to the question!
All is well,
Rightfully so, the majority of each day is consumed with fulfilling basic needs for ourselves and those we love and are responsible for. Think about, for a minute, how different your experiences might be if you made certain that your soul was nurtured as well? What would your life look like and feel like if that inner most and sacred part of you, your "higher self," was happy, inspired and cared for?
How do we identify what feeds our soul? It's quite simple. Make a list of all the things you love to do ... then commit to one each day. If coming up with a list is difficult, think back to when you were 10 years old. What made you happy? Maybe it was painting, going on a bike ride, coloring, horseback rides, ice creams cones....and so on and so on. I bet any ten year old you ask could give you their list of 100 very quickly!
Shoot me an email with the number one thing that feeds YOUR soul and I'll send you the exercise I use with clients.
All is well.
Let’s face it. Drama doesn’t just happen. Somehow, some way, we allow it to slowly creep into our lives. Maybe we don’t hold the door wide open for it to walk in, but perhaps we allow it to overstay its welcome when it sneaks in through the window.
Are you tired of asking yourself, “why does this always happen to me?!” Is it time to step away from the chaos, anxiety and craziness? Give this process a try the next time drama comes a-knockin’:
Who knows you best? You do. Who has the power to create peace, joy and a life filled with ease? You do! All it takes is spending quality time with that special person.
Make it a great day!
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ~ Brene Brown
Have you had a goal in mind for what feels like eternity? Frustrated you haven’t brought it to fruition? Ready to give up?
Chances are you are dealing with things internally you have subconsciously run from. In order to flush out these internal “things,” you must explore the darkness.
Intuitively, we all know that one “hurdle” we are meant to overcome in this lifetime. It may be related to finances, personal relationships or health and wellness.
Ask yourself right now, “What is the one issue in my life, if dealt with, that would create a positive domino effect for me?”
Gathering up the courage to “go there” is tough. But the rewards are so much more.
As we enter 2017, it's a great time to create vision boards, think about our "theme" for the new year, declutter, organize, and get ready for a fresh start!
Can you imagine if we carried this energy into bite size pieces each day of the year? We would be unstoppable in reaching our goals and creating the life and career we desire!
My clients and friends know I am big into rituals and intentions for each day. As my gift to you, I am sharing the daily planner I use to create positive momentum towards my own goals. I simply print 5 out for the week and it's my "manifesto" for the day. I hope you enjoy it!
Simply go to my home page www.coachmegdaly.com and click on the blue box titled "Meg's Daily Planner."
Feel free to share the love and forward this on to friends, family and colleagues! Simple tools like this planner, when used consistently, can create powerful shifts!
Happy 2017! Here is to a wonderful year ahead!
All is good. All is well.