The Daly Gem
Meg Daly is a Life and Career Coach who works with individuals on achieving results and becoming the best version of themselves. You can learn more about her services at www.coachmegdaly.com.
I work with people from a variety of professions and backgrounds, yet there is one foundational question I begin with during our time together. It's one of those simple questions that you think would be so easy to answer yet it has the power to stop people in their tracks.
What Makes Your Heart Sing?
Think about that for a second. It's the one thing that makes you FEEL good. It's always there lingering beneath the surface of everyday responsibilities and schedules and life. It could even be your purpose in this lifetime. So often I hear people say, "What do I want?" "Why am I here?" "Who do I want to BE?"
So I ask them, "If you were asked to give a short talk on ONE thing that really lights you up, what would it be?"
Some answers I've heard:
|▪||Connection at a deep level with loved ones.|
|▪||Hitting my business goal for 2017.|
|▪||Trusting myself... and others.|
|▪||Forgiveness of others and myself....|
|▪||Shining a light on "XYZ" injustice that keeps me up at night.|
|▪||Letting go of the rumination and control.|
|▪||Living in the moment.|
|▪||Feeling good in my body.|
|▪||Waking up Monday morning excited about work.|
|▪||Feeling like I live my life on my terms.|
When we feel stuck, lost, or unsure about our lives it helps to focus our attention in a different direction. When we do, it's like we shift our energy and how we wake up and show up to life changes. (Bonus: We start seeing our goals/wishes/desires come to us more easily too.)
If you are struggling with your answer to my question, don't force it. Just sit with it and pay attention over the coming days to what topics/ideas/experiences perk you up. Soon, you will see a common theme... and make the choice to bring that theme to life more in your experiences.
Happy singing :)
My dog Birdie and I got stuck on our walk this morning in a rainstorm... fortunately for us we were a few minutes from our favorite coffee spot along Lake Michigan. The place is dog friendly... but not inside! So we hung around outside under the awning by the front door waiting for the rain to let up. As people came in and out, some would smile, others would go by a bit annoyed they had to move around Birdie to get in the front door.
One woman in particular walked towards us, using sign language. I eventually understood she was asking to pet the dog. "Of course!" I said and struggled to answer her in sign language...which I don't even know.... so we both laughed!
Shortly after, a new voice behind me suddenly said to the woman petting Birdie,
"Ummmm.... yeah.... can I get through PLEASE?" (can you feel the agitation and annoyance?)
Of course the woman didn't hear her.... which elevated the annoyance even more and "the voice" finally flew by in a fluster.
At first, I was livid. Who did this woman think she was? A few choice words came to mind. I mean really... just chill out!
Until I remembered... "Frantic Frannie."
Who is she? Well, um, she's actually, um, yeah... she's me.
When I get flustered, impatient, or completely anxiety ridden---- I've found using humor by blaming it on Frannie helps defuse my impatient energy at times. (hey, whatever works, right!?)
I created "Frantic Frannie" because I really wasn't attracted to this part of me.
I didn't like the sound of my voice sometimes.
I'm guessing the frantic woman today isn't too crazy about her voice sometimes either.
It got me thinking, how many times have I been "that voice?"
How many times have we become our own version of "Frantic Franks or Frannies" not realizing what's going on in someone else's world and instead choosing to believe their "clueless-ness" is intentional.
It made my heart hurt and stomach sink thinking about this woman enjoying a lovely moment while "Frannie" was fuming and shooting arrows at through her eyes.
We never know what people are dealing with or what kind of day they've had.
Later today I had a choice about the voice I wanted to be... and had "Coffee shop Frannie" to thank for the reminder.
I was in the store grabbing lunch and holding my ONE item when I was completely cut off by a woman as she steered her grocery cart into the "10 items" only line (I am pretty sure she had 20 :)
An older man looked over at me and rolled his eyes which made me feel very, VERY justified in my annoyance at the woman... momentarily.
I suddenly remembered the incident earlier this morning with my Frantic Fannie sister.... and dug deep with a few questions to myself:
|▪||"Maybe she's from out of town and didn't realize that aisle was for quick purchases."|
|▪||"Maybe that hanging plant was for her Mom who just moved into assisted living and it's been a really emotional day and she needs to hurry back."|
|▪||"Maybe her best friend is in the hospital and she's rushing to make dinner for her friend's family."|
It only took a few quick thoughts to move from "Frantic Frannie" to "Compassionate Candy." I think I like Candy better.
|▪||There is power in being in the moment.|
|▪||There is power in giving people the benefit of the doubt.|
|▪||There is power in believing everyone is doing the best they can.|
|▪||There is power in giving one another a break.|
|▪||There is power in getting over ourselves.|
What kind of voice do you want to be?
Meg... and sometimes Frannie :)
If so, what about trying something different? What about focusing on how great it feels to feel really GOOD. In fact, what if our morning mantra was something along the lines of, "I wonder how GOOD today could get?"
How do we go from "stuck" to feeling wonderful, light, luminescent, beautiful, confident, loved, free, elegant, inspired, alive, young, or lit up?
Perhaps it's focusing on what we want... or maybe it's even deeper than that. What are the feelings we feel when we get what we want?
When you get the job... how do you feel?
When you lose the weight... how do you feel?
When you win the lottery... how do you feel? :)
Could it be that tapping into those amazing feelings is not just for when the quota is met or the deal is made or the connection is created? That we can tune into those feelings every day if we choose to?
Hmmm. So in a way, we have the power to rob ourselves from these feelings, holding them in reserve for only moments in our lives.... OR we can pinpoint the feelings that light us up and ride that wave as much as possible!
Right here, right now... how do you want to feel? Come up with 3-5 words that describe how you want to feel in your relationships, your work, your home, your friendships.
Next, say them every day. It's what I called a "Mojo Mantra" and it has power... because words hold energy.
Let's take a "Mojo Moment" to reflect on this.... is wanting to feel the way we want to feel in our heads, hearts, and bodies unrealistic/ridiculous/out of reach?
P.S. Interested in being part of my research on the "Magical Art Of Feeling Good?" I am interviewing people over the next two months. It's a fun experience. Email me for details and/or Click here to book an "interview" via my online calendar
How good could today get?
So often inspiration for these gems come from experiences with clients who teach me so much about life, themselves, and in the process myself!
Not long ago, I had a client communicate she was filled with anxiety about an upcoming annual review at work. In the past, she reacted to "constructive criticism" with feelings of defensiveness, anger, and sensitivity. I asked her to be open to an idea I call the "eggshell meditation".... and her response was pretty much aligned with the title of this gem! Yet even so, she decided to play along and give it a go.
In essence, it's a short meditation on grounding yourself, relaxing, and imagining a soft boundary around your body. One that is "see through" but where you are safe from the sting of words and feedback that tend to wound our egos and spirits.
What's the purpose of the exercise?
It gives you the time and space to process. You can hear the words, but you don't immediately absorb them into the whirlwind of your mind and emotions.
What's the benefit?
For my client, it was the best review she had experienced in years. Not so much what her manager had to say, but the calm EXPERIENCE of receiving the feedback. She felt open, and her manager noticed the change. In fact, there was additional positive feedback after the review about her demeanor, communication, and behavior during the meeting.
|▪||Think back to a time when you had a similar situation and the feelings you felt were down right icky. What about the way you reacted fueled your negative feelings?|
|▪||Now think back to a time where you were able to feel grounded and detached from the opinions of others. How did that feel? Probably pretty good.|
Remember, it's a choice. We can choose to let others decide how we are going to feel OR we can decide. We have immense power in creating our own realities.
P.S. If you'd like my "eggshell" meditation, shoot me an email and I'll be happy to share!
Have a great weekend!
All is good-
Each week the lovely ladies at M Magazine email asking for a new Daly Gem for my blog on their site. Without that push, I tend to resist writing due to the fear of "What else can I write about?" or "Does anyone really care?"
I call this kind of block "Perfection Paralysis." It's when we put off what we really love doing until it's perfect... so we look good... so people like us... and compliment us... and we feel validated. :)
Think about the time and momentum lost on the road toward what we desire when we insist on "perfection before action."
What would happen if:
▪ The dishes could sit in the sink allowing you to get out the door a bit earlier? Maybe you'd enjoy your work commute without the pressure of being rushed?
▪ The work proposal didn't have to be reviewed 100 times before pulling the trigger? Perhaps you'd actually get picked for the project?
▪ Losing that last 10 pounds didn't prevent you from enjoying life? You might meet someone amazing at the party Friday night!
Where in your life are you trying to be perfect? How is that working for you? If not so well, I've got a great mantra for the situation..."Get Over Yourself!"
If everything were perfect... then that would kind of be "it." The contrast of life, the rush of expanding and growing would be in essence over... because you'd be perfect.
So whether it's the resume, book, screenplay, or dating site profile you are stalling because of "XYZ," challenge yourself to check it off your list by:
We are all imperfectly perfect... and that's the beauty of this crazy wild experience called life.
All is good-
We all have wishes, goals, desires, targets, and end games.
The fun part is in the planning and the "AHHH!" of achieving them, right?
So then what? The thrill is gone, new goals are devised, new quotas are established, and the push begins again.
What if, instead, we dug a bit deeper and got a little more joy?
What if we were able to locate, identify, and name the FEELINGS behind reaching that goal, achieving that wish, or bringing that desire to reality?
Vibrant. Successful. Confident. Beautiful. Magical. Grounded. Authentic. Feminine. Masculine. Healthy. Blissful. Confident. Secure. Safe. Peaceful. Happy. Supported. Loved.
You with me?
So what if then, we decided to focus on the feelings behind the goal on a day to day basis? What if we were able to tune in and tap into those "feeling words" when faced with a choice, challenge, or change in our lives?
One thought is we would probably make decisions more aligned with who we are and what we want. The path would become a little straighter, the race track a little shorter.
Try this exercise:
1. Identify three words that describe how you want to feel in your life.
2. Write them down and post them somewhere you'll see them every day.
3. When you are faced with a decision of how to react, what to say yes/no to, what to eat, who to let in or who to let go of... simply tune into those feelings and see which choice lines up with those "feeling words."
Once we decide to "show up" to life in a way that inspires us, a funny thing happens. Those goals, wishes, and desires seem to show up to us as well.
All is well, all is good-
A few years ago I was complaining to a colleague about my frustration with certain people in my life unwilling to commit. I expected a pat on the back from her... a "oh you poor thing," and if I was lucky, an agreement on how it absolutely was "his/her fault" and all about "their issues."
Did she deliver what I wanted? Not so much.
What she had to say was short and at that moment not so great to hear.
Huh??? "Wait a minute! I am totally committed to myself, to others.... this is NOT about me!"
Then, I took a breath and let her words sink in. Not with blame or judgement but more with curiosity. As I stepped outside of my own ego and really looked at myself at that moment in time, I quickly began to see the ways in which I was not committing to me. Once I had that awareness, it was nearly impossible over the coming weeks to not see where I was selling myself short.
It's very enticing to want to look outside ourselves for the reasons we get stuck, feel overwhelmed, or are simply not getting what we want in life.
Are you sick and tired of people:
▪ Taking advantage of you?
Before you shoot off the nasty text or begin venting to friends and family regarding "his/her" actions....STOP.... and choose instead to:
1. Make a list of everything you're frustrated with regarding the situation (I recommend three solid bullet points max.)
That, my friends, is the magic of the mirror!
Why do they feel better? Because a realization is made that we all have the power to create really great relationships and experiences.... that this power comes first from how we show up to ourselves. Once we value, honor, and respect our own minds through kind self-talk... our hearts through self-nurturing... and our bodies through self-care, it's very likely the people and experiences we allow in will match that "feel good energy!"
All is well, all is good-
Have you had moments in your life where things were CRAZY busy but you were having the time of your life? One of my realtor friends commented yesterday on how this time of year is the most frantic times of the year for home selling/buying... but she's having a blast.
It's important during these times to:
1. Stay grounded
How do we stay grounded when there is work to be done, deals to be closed, and to do lists to be checked off? It's all about intention. Whether time blocking, delegating smaller items to a virtual assistant, or remembering to self nurture ourselves (massages, working out, Netflix!) there is power behind intentionally creating our days... not letting our days create us.
2. Be Aware of Self Sabotage!!
This is a biggie. You have been dreaming, embodying, visualizing etc etc etc what you really desire for your life... and then BAM! it's here. Do you celebrate the success and then get to work? Or do you become overwhelmed, hide out and dive into a bag of chips??? Be aware of the power of imagination and the jolt of energy that comes with creating what you imagine! It's your choice whether to create more momentum and move forward or to become paralyzed with that fear of greatness/success/achievement. We want it... but can we handle it? Yes you can... with awareness of your soft spots!
3. Remember What Worked
Reminding ourselves of the CHOICES that led to your present day success is key. Once you are aware of what works for you, you simply rinse and repeat with different experiences in your life. Maybe what worked for you was going to bed early, or working out in the evening rather than morning, or removing something from your diet to elevate your energy, or choosing to say "no" more? Only you know what creates alignment and balance within yourself. YOU are the expert.
So bring on the crazy fun! It's the juice of life so enjoy every drop.
All is well, all is good-
A really great by product of what I do is the ability to clearly see the parallel between my own roadblocks and those of the clients I work with. What I mean by this is when I help individuals work through their own "stuff" like fear, judgement, and procrastination, it sheds a light on my "stuff" as well!
Take for example, the idea of stepping outside that rim of fear that surrounds our safe and familiar and at times "ho hum" type of living. That space where things feel okay but a bit stagnant and there is lack of movement and flow. Something is off, but we can't quite put our finger on it. While this way of existing may feel comfortable, there is something about it that also feels empty and a bit draining.
To step out of that space is clearly scary but something we know we MUST do. Even if we can't articulate WHY, we know it could be a game changer.
Recently, I gathered the courage to "walk the walk" rather than staying in that safe zone of "talking the talk" or as Brene Brown would say, I got "in the arena." It's easy to help others see where their blind spots are... not always so much when it comes to ourselves.
My "opportunity for growth" came in the form of a professional opportunity I've been resisting for quite some time due to fear of rejection, looking ill equipped, or simply out of my element. Fortunately, however, I had that little voice in my head & gut saying "you MUST do this" along with certain individuals I believe are my "earth angels" offering support. The result from that one moment of saying, "I'm In" was beyond my wildest dreams and very quickly created a ripple effect to additional opportunities.
What I can tell you without doubt is that when we make a conscious choice to try something different (even when it scares the heck out of us) by taking 2 steps beyond that rim of fear, the universe/God/energy takes 10 steps towards us. It's almost as though they are saying "Well hello, so glad you finally showed up. We've been waiting for you with so many good things to share!"
So where are you afraid to start walking rather than talking?
One of my friends recently realized her desire for finding love outweighed her fear of stepping outside the "familiar alone zone" and into hiring a matchmaker. Talk about putting yourself out there!
Maybe for you it's exploring other career options, trying stand up comedy at amateur night, or having a difficult conversation with your boss.
Today, mare the choice to gather up the courage to elevate yourself beyond fear and into your purpose and joy!
All is well, all is good-
How often do we wake up thinking about a specific "to do," meeting, or obligation and say....
▪ "Well this is going to suck!!"
▪ "I am getting anxiety over it already"
▪ "Why does this always happen to me?"
Chances are, you are stuck looking at the expansive gap... in other words, the space between where you are and where you really want to be.
So how do you shorten the gap? How do you lighten your energy and begin looking at things in a more positive light?
You step into who you are at your core. Your gifts. The essence of what make you special.
When was the last time you really thought about your gifts and the immense power they have to create connection, success, and joy for yourself and those in your world? Today, write down your top 5 gifts. Next, rather than approaching the work meeting, your schedule, or a touchy conversation with a sense of gloom and doom or with the need to be right... how about choosing to instead simply "be" your gifts? Bring those to the table and see what happens.
p.s. If you are interested digging deeper into your own gifts, I have a powerful Values Tool I use with clients and in my workshops. Email me today for details!
All is good,
As human beings, we tend to put a great deal of pressure on ourselves to perform, be “on,” to please others, and to perfect our lives and schedules. There’s a whole lotta “shoulds”swimming through our minds. These “shoulds” have the power to pull us off the tracks! Sometimes it’s quite awhile before realizing we are actually living our lives based upon rules dictated by others and society.
What would your life be like if you tried, just for one week, to throw out the shoulds and simplify everything based around the question of “how does this feel for me?”
Think about your morning routine for example. You may feel you SHOULD:
▪ mediate for 30 minutes upon waking
▪ workout for an hour before work
▪ prepare a home cooked breakfast for everyone
I’m not saying all the above aren’t healthy and fabulous ideas! My point is make sure it’s YOU who is choosing the activity because it fuels that best part of you.
Maybe meditating is appealing but stresses you out trying to fit it into your morning routine... and as a result you start to judge yourself. That’s basically the opposite of what meditation is meant to do for you! Solution? Choose to make your day a mediation using moments like standing in line at the grocery store or bank to quiet your mind.
Working out before work is a chore? Think about incorporating movement throughout your day by taking the steps, walking on your lunch hour, or hitting the gym on the way home from work to catch a class you’ve been wanting to try?
The key is figuring out what inspires you. We all have enough of the “to do’s” on our list that are inevitable. Why not protect your personal & precious time by choosing what makes your heart sing?
All is well, all is good!
These aspects are part of who you are and when used in healthy ways, can benefit you personally and professionally to create more success, purpose, and connection with others.
Have you noticed as well that sometimes these aspects of yourself, when not kept "in check," have the ability to unground, detach, and pull you away from your center...and as a result bumping you down a notch?
You're experiencing some "highs" or "wins" with work or in your personal life. It's one of those "up" periods in your life when things are "in sync" and aligned. Don't you just live for those moments? Knowing these moments exist is what makes the low points in life bearable!
Inevitably, you receive a phone call or meet for coffee with a loved one or colleague who is experiencing not so great of a period in their life. You might call it a "low energy" chapter. Maybe they're dealing with insecurity, anger, resentment, or competitiveness. As if almost on auto pilot, you sense their feelings, (even before they have verbalized them!) and dive into the work of "making it right" for them. Helping them step out of the space they are in. And how do you do it? By joining in the misery. Maybe it's mirroring what they are feeling with inflated examples of your own insecurity, resentment, etc.
Why does this happen? Probably because you feel what others feel ... and when they feel "off," you want to scoop them out of their funk. The truth is, what ends up happening is you devalue yourself in order to make the other person feel better.
They are uplifted, their energy gets a shot of your magic juice and off they go...leaving you a little lower, a bit drained, and off your "high."
If this sounds familiar, do you see how ineffective, inauthentic, and just silly the whole scenario is?! If your answer is a resounding "YES!" then hallelujah!
Your "YES!" is called "awareness." Many times that's all that is needed to start pivoting towards behaviors and choices that keep you in the groove, Staying in this groove allows you to share your gifts in a healthy way with others without depleting you.
All is well. All is good!
How many times a day are you stuck in your head? Have you found yourself laying in bed staring at the ceiling trying to be "right," trying to figure out why someone did something or said something. Pretty soon it's 3am, your heart is racing, and you head hurts.
My question is, how is this working for you? It really held me back for years.
In order to get out of the "rumination wheel rut" we first must become AWARE of how this is holding us back, make a DECISION to do something different, and most importantly take ACTION.
If trying to always figure things out (aka "overthinking") is keeping you stuck, and you are ready to do something different, all you now need to do is take action through a tool that works for you. Perhaps it's meditation, talk therapy, or creating morning and evening rituals to move you into more of grounded mindset.
Often there is fear with change. Even if our current circumstances are less than desirable, it's scary to step out of that familiar place. When years of a certain behavior, such as rumination, are what we know, it's difficult to step away from that way of thinking/living/being because what's on the other side is unknown.
When we do step outside of that space, however, gifts begin showing up.
My challenge to you today is whatever you are overthinking, whatever you can't let go of, whatever grudge you're holding on to, wherever forgiveness is lacking, choose one tool to act upon and watch how things begin to change!
All is well,
Everything we create was once imagined. Think about that for a second. If it's true that everything we create was once imagined, we have an incredible amount of power within us. Probably more than we realize. You might even call it your super power!
How do you use your imagination? Do you wake in the morning dreading the work meeting? Predicting the worst case scenario? Feeling disheartened about the relationship you're in? Expecting the worst so you won't be disappointed?
I agree with the idea of "expectations are resentments waiting to happen," but only when those expectations are put upon another person and out of our control. On the flip side, I truly believe that when we allow ourselves to dream big, these expectations are not resentments waiting to be happen but instead beautiful gifts and blessings waiting to be opened and witnessed.
When we expect things to work in our favor, that is where our attention goes. When we expect beautiful things to happen, we begin to look for them like a treasure hut. When you state your intention for the day, your intuition and awareness naturally looks for those things, naturally brings them into your awareness
Today the challenge for myself and all of you is to ask ourselves, "how GOOD could today get?" You don't have to believe you have this power within you, but why not look at it as an experiment? You have nothing to lose and only really great things to win.
I wonder how good could today could get?
p.s. I'd love to hear about any synchronicities or cool things that happen today that you feel were set in motion from your super power of imagination!
All is well,
What would happen if for one month we dropped the layers upon layers of the "shoulds" within our schedules and instead replaced them with "non-negotiables" for our minds, hearts, and bodies? A sort of "filtering down" to what really moves us closer to what we desire for ourselves and those close to us?
There is something intoxicating about the idea of simplifying. Magazines, books, online programs, and movements focus on the topic. I'm not sure about you, but the word "simplify" gets me inspired...It's actually my theme for 2017!
There is, however, that crucial point where we bump up against resistance. Simplifying can be hard! Why? Because it forces us to trim away what isn't working to make space for what does work...and giving something up regardless of the positive impact can be scary.
I'm reading a wonderful book at the moment, Present over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living.
The author asks the question, "if someone gave you a completely clear calendar and a bank account as full as you wanted, what would you do?"
Once you have your answer, ask yourself how can you start implementing that vision now. For example:
▪ If your answer was starting a non profit for rescue dogs, you could start volunteering at the local animal shelter.
▪ If it's a vacation around the world but your finances are tight, schedule in a "stay-cation" at home and read books and watch movies on the countries you'd like to visit.
▪ If you would redecorate your entire home, why not paint a bedroom?
The idea is to embody and get into the vibe of what it feels like to have it happening NOW in your life!
P.S. I'd love to hear your answer to the questions above!
P.S.S If you are in the Milwaukee area on February 25th I am hosting a workshop where we dive deeper into magic of "Simplicity!" Click here for details.
All is well,
Sometimes, it's difficult to let go of the need to be "right." Whether it be in our personal lives or career, it's tempting to get the last word in, show others how smart we are, or prove our points until we frankly are exhausted.
Where does this need come from? Is it rooted in the need for perfection or perhaps that familiar fear of failure?
Most of us know the frustration that comes from laying in bed at night staring at the ceiling while we ride what I call the "righteous rumination wheel"... going over and over how we are right and "they" are wrong.... and how we are going to make everyone agree with us!
Wouldn't it be great not to care?
If we were able to get to that place, how would life be different? How would our minds, bodies, and hearts feel? Try holding on to THAT way of being and watch your life experiences change.
Sometimes my "theme for the day" is "Just Let It Be." The next time you hop on that need to be "right," make a conscious decision to simply let go and let it be.
All is well,
Chatting with a client recently frustrated with a loved ones inability to take action, I thought of a friends catchy phrase, "watch my feet, not my mouth." In other words, "watch what I DO rather than what I SAY!"
It's easy to become exasperated and point the finger at a spouse, co worker, friend, or family member whose inaction is causing exasperation... but it's also a great exercise to look within, without judgement, on the ways our mouths are moving but we continue standing still. Let's face it...our feet are the only ones we have control over!
1. Describe The Glue. What is it exactly that is keeping our feet/lives stuck? Fear? If so, of what? Maybe fear of feeling vulnerable or fear of failing. It doesn't matter what it is but what does matter is identifying it. Once you become aware, then it become impossible to ignore it! Does this make sense? Think of the glue as a hidden commitment you've made to yourself that you aren't even aware of. Conscious goals might be to make more money, lose weight, or find love. Hidden commitments on the other hand, might be you crave security thus staying in a dead end job, using extra weight as a shield against people getting close, or subconsciously choosing partners you absolutely know are not right for you long term. This is the step where you dig deep and get honest.
2. Break It Up. Many times we remain stuck because the end goal is exciting but the road to it is overwhelming. We overestimate what we can get done in a short period of time, experience "failure," and thus we give up. Over the weekend I was listening to a Brendon Burchard podcast and I love his idea of 50 minute increments throughout the day assigned to different projects. Whatever your personal or professionals goals may be, lighten up a bit and steady goes it. Your mind can only handle so much "thinking" about your resume, de cluttering your home, or having a difficult conversation with a loved one. Time block throughout the day and once that "block" is over.... get out of your head!
3. Love It Up. This is the most important one of all. When we choose to nurture, support, and love ourselves first and foremost, we would't dream of sabotaging our own dreams. What do you desire for your children, your family, your friends? Now turn that love on yourself.
Accept yourself right now, exactly as you are, from the space you stand. Once you do, the feet magically begin to move.
All is well,
I recently had a conversation with a friend who asked me the question I often ask clients..."What Do You Want?" It's a question, when asked in relation to life as a whole, and can literally stop you in your tracks, cause anxiety or move you to tears. The question, as simple as it is, can be super overwhelming... especially if we tend to live our lives on auto pilot or at times spinning our wheels - both scenarios I have experience with in my own life.
It's a question that's tough to answer at times. It is, however, the starting point for creating the wealth of happiness, love and health as spiritual beings we so crave. Before we start creating vision boards and embodying what we think we desire for our lives, it's key to make sure it's what WE want for ourselves rather than what others or society might feel is best.
When you answer the question, "What do you want?" do you sense yourself filtering it a bit, downplaying it, or hiding behind what you feel you "should" wish for? If so, maybe now is the time to dig deep and peek behind the curtains of your ego and fears and find the answer.
If you are interested in hearing about what my answer was, shoot me an email with YOUR answer to the question!
All is well,
Rightfully so, the majority of each day is consumed with fulfilling basic needs for ourselves and those we love and are responsible for. Think about, for a minute, how different your experiences might be if you made certain that your soul was nurtured as well? What would your life look like and feel like if that inner most and sacred part of you, your "higher self," was happy, inspired and cared for?
How do we identify what feeds our soul? It's quite simple. Make a list of all the things you love to do ... then commit to one each day. If coming up with a list is difficult, think back to when you were 10 years old. What made you happy? Maybe it was painting, going on a bike ride, coloring, horseback rides, ice creams cones....and so on and so on. I bet any ten year old you ask could give you their list of 100 very quickly!
Shoot me an email with the number one thing that feeds YOUR soul and I'll send you the exercise I use with clients.
All is well.
Let’s face it. Drama doesn’t just happen. Somehow, some way, we allow it to slowly creep into our lives. Maybe we don’t hold the door wide open for it to walk in, but perhaps we allow it to overstay its welcome when it sneaks in through the window.
Are you tired of asking yourself, “why does this always happen to me?!” Is it time to step away from the chaos, anxiety and craziness? Give this process a try the next time drama comes a-knockin’:
Who knows you best? You do. Who has the power to create peace, joy and a life filled with ease? You do! All it takes is spending quality time with that special person.
Make it a great day!
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ~ Brene Brown
Have you had a goal in mind for what feels like eternity? Frustrated you haven’t brought it to fruition? Ready to give up?
Chances are you are dealing with things internally you have subconsciously run from. In order to flush out these internal “things,” you must explore the darkness.
Intuitively, we all know that one “hurdle” we are meant to overcome in this lifetime. It may be related to finances, personal relationships or health and wellness.
Ask yourself right now, “What is the one issue in my life, if dealt with, that would create a positive domino effect for me?”
Gathering up the courage to “go there” is tough. But the rewards are so much more.
As we enter 2017, it's a great time to create vision boards, think about our "theme" for the new year, declutter, organize, and get ready for a fresh start!
Can you imagine if we carried this energy into bite size pieces each day of the year? We would be unstoppable in reaching our goals and creating the life and career we desire!
My clients and friends know I am big into rituals and intentions for each day. As my gift to you, I am sharing the daily planner I use to create positive momentum towards my own goals. I simply print 5 out for the week and it's my "manifesto" for the day. I hope you enjoy it!
Simply go to my home page www.coachmegdaly.com and click on the blue box titled "Meg's Daily Planner."
Feel free to share the love and forward this on to friends, family and colleagues! Simple tools like this planner, when used consistently, can create powerful shifts!
Happy 2017! Here is to a wonderful year ahead!
All is good. All is well.
We all have our issues or our "stuff." It's what makes us human! If we had ourselves and everything in our lives perfected, I guess this show would be over, right?
In my workshops we talk a lot about habits or ways of living that block what we truly desire for our lives. People get super excited about moving away from these habits and more toward living in ways that support their minds, bodies and spirits... but what happens after the workshop?
Why is it so difficult to let these "hold-you-down habits" go? Why isn't it a cake walk to move more toward self-love, self-acceptance and self-nurturing?
I think one reason is we don't think we are enough. When we feel this way, we tend to "fill up" on other things that feed us. Maybe it's shopping, food, gossiping, etc. When we feel we aren't enough, it's tempting to reach outward to make us feel okay. The work comes, however, from reaching within to find ways to calm our minds and hearts down to the point where we know/feel/believe that who we are at the core is perfect.
I am big in to mantras. If you came to my home you might giggle a bit as my Mother does, when you see the "affirmation cards" posted around the house... mostly near light switch plates and on mirrors. One of my favorite is "I am enough." If you take anything away from today's gem, remember that you ARE enough. Write it down today... who cares if they laugh.
All is good. All is well.
Yesterday I was in two different conversations where this question was brought up:
"Why do people resist reaching out for support when it comes to personal development even when they really want to do it and know it would help?"
I took that as a sign to use it as the topic for today's gem!
It seems there are two possible reasons for the resistance. The first being we feel guilty or don't value the idea of investing in ourselves. The idea of spending time and resources on something that is 100% focused on ourselves feels a bit overindulgent.
The second reason is the one I feel is most pervasive.... it forces us to get uncomfortable.
Imagine your are at the center of a circle. Within this circle is your safe area, your comfort zone. Sometimes, when we have "a-ha" moments or get inspired to try something different, we begin to push closer to the edges of that circle and feel moments of courage to step outside that comfort zone... but that can be scary. You know that feeling when your mind is saying, "Just stay put in the job/relationship/habits/routine," but your gut is saying, "GO! Move forward!" It's as though your mind is justifying and ensuring the "stuck-ness," while your gut is begging you to expand and move forward.
When we gather up the courage to make small or big shifts in our lives, there IS that fire we must walk through. Once we move through it, however, the feeling on the other side is somewhat indescribable. Elation? Joy? Triumph?
What one thing have you been putting off that you know you MUST do. Maybe it involves beginning to speak up for yourself, tell your story, set your sights higher, or simply try something new. Whatever it is, lean into listening to your intuition. No coach, advisor or mentor can give you the answers that your own inner self has waiting for you right now.
All is good. All is well.
Does the title of today's gem sound familiar? Do you feel that no matter how hard you try, your life and the people in it don't change?
In order to get different results, we must consider new behaviors and choices... for ourselves.
The end result? We grow, expand, evolve... in essence we experience more happiness, fulfillment and abundance in our lives.
The fun road to "self growth" is to get inspired. The not so fun route is to get uncomfortable.
Let's start with the fun one first. :)
Inspiration comes in many forms. Maybe its an "A-HA" moment in the car listening to an uplifting song/ audio book/podcast or coming across a quote on social media that hits home. Inspiration is high energy, uplifting and can change your vibe as quick as flipping on a light switch.
Getting uncomfortable, on the other hand, isn't quite as elevating...at first.
It's a bit scary, makes our stomachs turn and can be nerve-wracking. But deep down, it's also in those moments where we intuitively know what we must do, even if we don't want to admit it to ourselves.
When we gather up the courage to speak our truth, to say "I'm sorry," to practice extreme forgiveness, or choose to be vulnerable in any form, the weight that is lifted off our shoulders allows us to take off like a rocket.
The next time you are feeling frozen in a place that no longer works for you, choose to listen to those feelings in your gut... to that voice in your head... to your highest self residing in your heart. Chances are, they're nudging you towards inspiration as well as that unfamiliar and uncertain place. Go for it. You've got this. Your future self will thank you.
All is good. All is well!
Inevitably we all face dark chapters in our lives when challenges appear that seem to be just too much at the time.
On the flip side, we have moments of sheer joy where the universe seems to line up in perfect order.
As Frank Sinatra would say, "That's Life..."
The contrast or duality we experience in this sometimes crazy/sometimes wonderful world is what allows us to feel what living is ultimately about.
If there were no moments of pain, would you fully appreciate the moments of joy? If loneliness was never experienced, would that feeling of connection be as beautiful?
So the next time you begin to feel overwhelmed, ungrounded or out of alignment, remind yourself it's simply a moment in time preparing your heart for those sweet moments of peace.
All is good. All is well.
This time of year is filled with the energy of gratitude. A time of giving thanks for the many blessings, gifts, and abundance in our lives.
It is not always easy to be grateful. Sometimes, it's more "familiar" to focus on the lack within our lives, to slip into the comparison game, or to blame everything outside of ourselves for the reality we currently exist in.
When we are in that space of lack, comparison, or blame, one way of leaning out of it is to simply acknowledge the little things. "Thank you, bed, for a comfortable place to sleep." "Thank you, dog, for greeting me with a wagging tail each morning." "Thank you, car/bus/bike, for getting me to where I need to be today."
Dipping our toe into the pool of gratitude is kind of like magic. It opens up our hearts, lifts our energy and allows us to start seeing new paths, new choices and even more gratitude.
I have two notecards on my vanity table. Each morning, as I get ready for the day, I read both:
"I bless and prosper everyone in my world today."
"Everyone in my world blesses and prospers me."
Remember... we ALL are connected. When we choose to LOVE everyone and everything unconditionally (starting with ourselves!), we inevitably then receive more and more ...and more love.
Happy Holidays. I am grateful for you.
I recently was reminded by a friend of our tendency to exist in one of three mindsets:
Survive: "I will be happy once I am safe."
Strive: "I will be happy once I achieve XYZ goal or reach a certain level in life."
Thrive: "I choose to be happy now and live from the perspective of collaboration and possibilities."
So how do we get to this place called "thriving?" Recently, I listened to a podcast by the late Wayne Dyer. In it, he was describing Maslow's three qualities of a "self-actualized" person (a.k.a. someone who is probably thriving!)
Their qualities include:
1. Not being concerned with the good opinion of others (a.k.a. confident with who they are).
2. Not feeling attached to the outcome (a.k.a. no ulterior motives or manipulation within the personal or professional lives).
3. Lack of a desire to control or have power over someone or something.
I don't know about you, but I would love to check off all three.... but life is a work in progress - that is for sure! For me, thriving is simply being aware and consciously making choices that support my own definition of what is right for me.
What can you do today to start moving towards a "thrive" mindset?
“Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet and everyone you meet will be genuinely interested in you” ~ Rasheed Ogunlaru
You're at a party. The person you are speaking with isn’t making eye contact, is looking over your shoulder scanning the room for someone “more important,” and clearly not listening to what you have to say. How does that make you feel?
Now imagine you are at the same party with a different person. They are engaged in your conversation, leaning in, looking you in the eye, nodding, asking questions which show they are listening, not interrupting. Now how do you feel?
Each and every interaction we partake in throughout the day has the ability to impact someone in a powerful way when we give one another our full attention, in the moment, with our heart and soul. What a super amazing gift that is!
I love synchronicity.
Recently, I was the opening speaker for an extraordinary company's annual meeting. Before heading onstage, I was asked, "So what song would you like to play?" My first reaction was, "What?! I didn't think about that part!" Three days later, one of my clients was on a high from a conference she attended. One of her favorite presentations of the day was centered around the topic of "What's Your Walk Up Song?" How perfect!
When you think about it, we all march out the door every morning to a certain beat - exuding either high or low energy. As a result, we tend to create really great experiences or not so great ones.
Ask yourself right now, "What's my walk up song today?" Maybe if you're navigating rough waters it might be "Titanium," or if you're feeling on top of the world it'd be "Girl On Fire!"
Remember, we all have a choice to choose our song, our values, our best self.
Rock on :)